Fear...

We are all afraid of something...Illness, darkness, loneliness, hurt, betrayal, misery, death...The gloomy rain and piercing wind in the falling night penetrate my heart, engulfing it in cold darkness...Do I not deserve love and happiness? Are my mistakes so unforgivable that I would lose my happiness and will spend my life in sad misery and guilt? I am not afraid of death, but I am afraid to lose my happiness - then I might as well be dead, because my soul will die and my body will continue to exist as an empty shell carrying only a logical emotionless mind...until the mind and the body give up as well...Devastation without chance...

Unexplicable sadness...

Sadness engulfs me, permeates through my soul and hurts...It has appeared inexplicably, without reason or connection to my life. Why it has absorbed into my, where it has come from, I do not know and that makes it impossible to fight it, to escape its suffocating embrace...Warm, sunny bright spring elates the life around me to happy, exuberant level. And yet, I am in deep state of sadness that I cannot seem to extinguish. I need it to go away!