The failures of the personality....

I am facing my demons now...I have been taking care of everyone, trying to straighten their lives to avoid facing myself. Although I would like to think that there is some spontaneous good in me that prompts me to help others not only for selfish reasons, but I am not sure... I hope, although I doubt it, that whatever good I do would be enough to make up for all the misery and all the hurt that I have inflicted and continue to inflict...

I have avoided being alone because I would actually have to face the imperfect person that I am...I should ask forgiveness for all the times I have criticized others, because, whether my criticisms are true or not, I, being the failed person that I am, have no right to comment at all.

I need to say it out loud...

I need to see if I can repair myself as a person and how, rather than to see the ways that I have failed...My failures I unfortunately know, but at times I choose to ignore...Sometimes it is hard to look at myself in the mirror... Because I face the fact that I am not in reality the person that I want to be and it is terribly disappointing. I am so sorry...